


Him?

by bananapatch



Category: Arrested Development
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Developing Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Romance, Sibling Incest, Smut, potential angsty bits
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-11 15:35:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2073585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bananapatch/pseuds/bananapatch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series following Gob and Michael's developing relationship after the events of Proving His Worthiness. Mostly fluff, some smut, and possibly some occasional angst.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Michael contemplates the new development in his relationship with Gob.

Michael Bluth awoke with a start from a very strange and vivid dream. His head was foggy and he couldn't remember much, only that his brother Gob had had a starring role in it. He frowned when he realized that not only was he extremely turned on, but he was also naked. He never slept naked, ever. Had he been so into his dream that he'd stripped himself in his sleep? That didn't make any sense. What had he even been dreaming about? He ventured a glance over to his alarm clock; it was 6AM. _Great, just in time to get up for work._ Feeling more than a little disoriented, he sat up in bed and tried to get his bearings.

It wasn't until he heard the soft snoring coming from his side and he glanced over to see his brother sprawled on the bed, completely naked himself, that the events of the night before came flooding back to him.

_Oh my_ God _, we didn't...did we?_

When he tried to get out of bed and was stopped by a dull ache coming from his backside, he had his answer. _We did._

He shot out of bed, not allowing the pain to slow him down, and reached over to poke Gob in the back.

“Gob, Gob, _wake up_.” His voice rose an octave with every syllable he spoke, his panic growing.

It took a few more solid jabs into his shoulder blade before Gob finally stirred, and when he did he turned his head and flashed Michael a sleepy grin. “Mikey...”

Michael retracted his hand and backed away from the bed. “Gob, I think we might have, I mean...did we um, sleep together last night?”

Gob yawned and rubbed his eyes, and Michael couldn't help the twinge of longing in his chest at the sound of Gob's groggy morning voice.

“Well, yeah. You let me *beep* you, don't you remember? It was hot. And if you come back to bed, we can do it again.” Gob turned onto his back and pushed the covers aside, inviting Michael in.

Michael went silent, pretending to think. The truth was the he did remember, he could see it all clearly now. The lust that had overcome him, how eager he had been to sleep with his brother, how good it had been. The best sex he'd ever had, if he was honest with himself. And now all he wanted was to take Gob up on his offer and climb back into bed. But he couldn't, not again. That was a one-time lapse in judgement that he was not about to repeat.

“Um, no, I should go make some breakfast, and you should get dressed.”

Gob sighed and rolled his eyes slightly, watching Michael as he grabbed his robe from the closet and pulled it on. “Don't tell me you're chickening out again, guy. You were the one who came on to me last night, you were totally into it.”

Michael just shook his head and started walking towards the door. “We'll deal with this later. Right now we need to get ready and go to work. I gave you your job back, remember? That means you actually have to show up.”

Gob climbed out of bed and went over to Michael, stepping close enough to him that Michael could feel his breath on his face. He shivered as Gob placed one hand on his hip and brought the other one down to press against his groin. Michael's brain was screaming for him to walk away, but his body wouldn't let him.

“Oh, you were serious about that? I figured since I was *beep*ing the boss and all, you could cut me some slack.” He gently squeezed Michael's rapidly growing erection for emphasis.

Michael's resolve was deteriorating in record time and he almost gave in, but he fought the impulse. “No, Gob. If you want your title and paycheck then you need to actually do some work, just like everyone else. You don't get a free ride because we...had sex.” He gulped; saying it aloud somehow made it worse.

Defeated, Gob let his hands drop and walked away, grumbling as he began to gather his clothes that were still heaped on the floor. Michael closed his eyes and willed his erection to go down before turning and leaving the room.

**********

As he made his way through the house, Michael was immensely relieved to discover that everyone else appeared to still be asleep. He made breakfast in a daze, as little details about his tryst with his brother popped into his head uninvited. He just couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he'd allowed it to happen. Sure, he'd had a drink, but one glass of scotch should not have been enough to impair his judgment that much. Besides, drinking didn't make you do things you didn't want to do, only lowered your inhibitions. Had he always been harboring some repressed desire to be with his brother? That did sound like something that would happen to him. For a long time he had known, somewhere deep down, that his feelings for Gob were much more complicated than mere brotherly love. They carried with them an undercurrent of _more_ that sort of terrified him, and since he was denial's number one fan, he had become very good at ignoring it.

He had always chalked it up to their completely *beep*ed up upbringing, and the fact that they had been pitted against each other for as long as he could remember. The damage that all of the boyfights and parental neglect had done to Gob's psyche had been evident. It had turned him into a clingy, needy mess that was always searching for approval from anyone who would offer it and in whatever sordid way he could get it. He completely lacked boundaries, and had barely even bothered trying to hide his feelings for Michael. He may have never made an official announcement, but it had always been fairly obvious that Gob's feelings for his younger brother went way beyond what was appropriate. Michael's psychological issues, while in a similar vein, had been much more subtle. Possibly because he refused to acknowledge them himself. Nevertheless, the damage had still been done, and was now rearing its ugly head. 

The fact that he had so willingly slept with Gob and had enjoyed it so thoroughly was making it impossible to deny any longer: Michael Bluth had a crush on his brother. Probably much more than a crush, but he wasn't quite ready to shed that much of his denial.

He also wasn't ready to let Gob know that he had come to this conclusion. He knew that once he gave even the slightest inclination of how he really felt, that maybe he could even see himself being with his brother for more than just a night of passionate sex, there would be no turning back. They would become an honest to God couple; he could picture them slipping into a relationship so easily. Michael was not prepared to accept that fact just yet.

And so, when Gob finally came downstairs, Michael refused to make eye contact or say a word to him. They ate in somewhat awkward silence, and Gob kept flashing Michael hopeful looks that he pointedly ignored by staring unrelentingly at his plate of eggs.

**********

The rest of the morning went smoothly, all things considered. Gob seemed to sense that Michael was going through something, and in a startling display of maturity didn't try to get him to have sex before work. Instead he let Michael get ready in peace, told him he would be taking his segway to the office, and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before they parted ways.

Michael appreciated not having to carpool with Gob, because he didn't think he had the willpower to survive being in a confined space with him without _something_ happening between them. He had calmed down considerably by the time he got there, and found himself to be in a pretty good mood. He had an important meeting that morning and actually had faith that Gob would be able to restrain himself from *beep*ing everything up, and was pleasantly surprised to discover that this faith hadn't been misplaced.

The morning sped by and it was soon time for lunch, and Michael retreated to his office with the hope of getting a few minutes to himself. It had been nice to be busy and distracted from his persistent inner mantra of _Gob, Gob, Gob, Gob, Gob_ for a few hours, but he knew that sooner or later he actually had to stop and think things over.

And so he thought about it, and then thought about it some more. He thought about all of the times growing up that he and his brother had been at each other's throats, how Gob always managed to get him angrier more quickly than anyone else ever could. The old adage “there's a fine line between love and hate,” came to mind. He thought about Gob's smell and his intoxicating heat when he pulled him in for one of his crushing, lingering hugs. He thought about what those hugs meant, how they always came with a tinge of sadness, a desperate plea to be accepted. 

He thought about Gob's body, _God_ , that body. How long and lean and sculpted it was, how good it felt pressed up against his own. He thought about Gob's beautifully deep voice that made him weak at the knees. He'd never before been attracted to a man, but there was no doubt in his mind that he was ridiculously, obscenely attracted to Gob.

He thought about what being in a relationship with Gob would actually be like. About Gob's terrible track record with commitment. Would trying to get him to settle down be a total waste of his time? And then there was the fact that they would have to sneak around, at least at first, and could never be seen in public together as a couple. It sounded exhausting. If they became serious they would have to come out to the family, or at least to George Michael, and that was not a conversation Michael would look forward to having. There would be a lot of questions that Michael didn't know how he would answer, but would have to because he knew he couldn't keep a secret like that from his son for long.

Then Michael started to contemplate Gob himself. His brother who showed him an unhealthy level of adoration and dedication, even when they were in the midst of fighting. Michael thought that if Gob could manage to get over his commitment issues, he'd probably make a half-decent boyfriend. He was deeply flawed in a lot of ways, that was for certain, but he was also capable of being remarkably caring. At least when it came to Michael.

Forty-five minutes went by like this, and he was no closer to having his mind made up. In fact it wasn't until his thoughts wandered over to the last time he had been in this office with Gob, when they had finally kissed, that he started getting anywhere.

That kiss had been unlike any other that Michael had had in a very long time. It had been raw and emotional and so goddamn _sexy_ , and there was a connection there that he hadn't felt with anyone since his wife had died. It was something he had searched for ever since, but never seemed to find with any of the women he had dated. He craved it, and finding it in Gob had breathed some life back into him.

And maybe that was enough to justify giving in to this admittedly *beep*ed up, incestuous relationship with his brother. It would take a lot of work, more than Michael could even fathom at that moment, but if it gave him the chance to have that feeling every day, to be with Gob every day, then it would be well worth the effort. They could stop fighting all the time and be happy together.

Michael figured he should probably go talk this all through with his brother, but just as he was about to leave to find him, Gob breezed into the office.

“Michael!”

Michael jumped up and closed the door behind Gob, checking twice to make sure it was locked, before turning his attention to him and giving him a slight smile. “Hey, Gob. I think it would be good if we uh...if we talked about last night.”

Gob made a face like every single thing about Michael exasperated him. “What, again? Don't you ever get tired of _talking_ about things?”

“Well, it's just that I've spent most of the day trying to figure out why it happened, and I think it may have been because...I have feelings for you. And I've been in denial about them for a long time, but I don't want to be anymore. You deserve to know the truth.”

Gob's reaction was instantaneous, pulling Michael into a tight embrace and clutching his hands into Michael's blazer before he'd even finished speaking.

“Really, Mikey? You mean it?”

Michael smiled into Gob's shoulder and hugged him back with equal intensity. “Yeah Gob, I mean it. I think this could work. I think we could work. If you want it to.”

Gob pulled back and placed his hands on Michael's face, beaming down at him, tears pooling in his eyes. “I've wanted to hear you say that forever.”

Michael blushed and looked away, uncomfortable with the overt display of emotion. “I know you have. But listen, if we're going to do this...we always have to be careful. No one can find out about us, at least not yet. That means we have to act like nothing's changed when we aren't behind closed doors. We'll have to plan nights to meet at a hotel...”

Gob's eyes lit up. “Or I could just come live with you!”

“No, Gob, that'll be a little too obvious. A hotel will have to work for now, until we can work something else out.”

“No, I'll just tell everyone I need a place to stay, and since your room is the only one that isn't being shared I have to sleep in there. It would be less weird than you sneaking off to a hotel every other night. No one will suspect anything, and we can *beep* all the time right under their noses!”

Michael furrowed his brow, thinking it over and trying to ignore Gob's apparent desire to have sex in a house full of their family members. “Alright, I guess that could work. But y'know, it would mean you would have to be even more careful. You couldn't do anything that might set off any suspicion. No unnecessary physical contact, no offhanded remarks, nothing. Okay?”

“I think I can handle that, Michael. I won't *beep* this up. So I can move in?”

Michael chuckled and shook his head and disbelief. What had his life become?

“Yeah, Gob, you can move in.”

Gob grinned and took his brother by the chin, pulling his face up and into a passionate kiss that Michael melted into. They kissed until neither of them could breathe, and Michel's head was spinning. 

_This is good,_ Michael thought as Gob's large, warm hand slipped down to rub loving and only slightly possesive circles into his lower back. _This is going to be good._


	2. Chapter 2

For Michael Bluth, the weeks that followed Gob moving in with him were a blur.

Just as Michael had suspected, they shifted with a remarkable amount of ease from being brothers into being a couple. They were spending every waking second together; they woke up together, went to work together, came home together, ate meals together and went to bed together. Michael had even taken to spending his free time trying to help Gob with his magic, though his brand of help usually consisted of trying to steer his brother clear – usually unsuccessfully – of any illusions that would cause him or anyone else bodily harm. It was the first time in his life that he was grateful his family was too self-involved to pay any real attention to either of their lives, because it allowed them to live out their days with significantly less sneaking around than Michael had been anticipating. They were having fun, and Michael was enjoying Gob's company more than he ever had before. He was beginning to loosen the vice grip of control he had over his life and really become immersed in the relationship, in his brother.

And while Michael was learning how to enjoy himself, Gob was growing up. He seemed to have the patience of a saint as his brother navigated the confusing minefield of his newly-discovered sexuality. He never pressured him, never pushed him past his limits, and was always more than willing to listen whenever Michael needed to talk things out. It was weird.

And it was starting to make Michael uncomfortable. Whether it was because this new, patient Gob was completely unlike the brother he'd grown up with or because he himself had turned into someone he didn't recognize, he wasn't sure. But with each sleepless night he spent tangled in Gob's limbs it gnawed at him more and more, until he could no longer ignore it.

So, the next time Gob pulled him into the bedroom for what had become their daily post-lunch lovemaking session, Michael pushed him away.

“What's wrong, Mikey?” Gob asked, still clutching Michael and sticking his tongue out, trying in vain to lick his neck.

“Nothing's wrong, Gob, I'm just...not in the mood right now, that's all.”

“Oh. Okay, I guess.” Gob finally pulled away, and Michael was astounded by the amount of restraint Gob was showing, considering how hard the button on his pants was working to hold his erection in. He felt an inexplicable annoyance bubbling up inside of him; he almost didn't want his brother to take no for an answer, so that when he said the words that he knew were coming, he wouldn't feel like such an asshole.

“Actually Gob, something is wrong. Something is _very_ wrong.”

“What is it?”

“I don't know, something is wrong with me. Or maybe it's you, I don't know. This isn't us. We don't...we don't do this. We can't keep _doing_ this.”

Gob's face was losing color, going blank, and he stared at nothing in particular for a full agonizing minute, not saying a word. The sound of Gob's silence was unbearable, and Michael felt compelled to fill it with something. He opened his mouth, closed it, but he couldn't get anything to come out.

When Gob finally did speak he was quiet, sounding more exhausted than angry.

“Yeah Michael, I get it. You never fail to remind me how _wrong_ you think this is. You're Mr. Moral, Mr. Uptight, Mr. Better Than Everyone. I'm the one who's sick for not seeing how *beep*ed up this relationship is.”

“No, that isn't what I meant. I just – ”

“Well then what did you mean, Michael? Tell me what you meant, because if I'm wasting my time with you, if this whole thing _disgusts_ you so much, then I want to know now so I can leave.”

“I don't want you to leave, Gob, and you definitely don't disgust me. This is just...it's a big adjustment, I'm having a hard time with it. That's all, I promise.” Michael inched closer to Gob and tried to put his hand on his shoulder, but Gob rebuffed the contact.

“We've been together for...what, six weeks now? And we've had this same conversation like fifty times? You shouldn't still be struggling this much. It shouldn't be this hard for you. If something else is going on, just tell me what it is.”

Michael's argument, if he even had one to begin with, was losing altitude quickly. He had forgotten how uncharacteristically insightful this new version of Gob was, and he had more or less hit the nail on the head. So Michael opted to keep his mouth shut, figuring that anything else he said would only add fuel to Gob's fire. As it turned out, his silence had the same effect.

“Look, if you're not even gonna bother talking to me honestly, then I'm just gonna go. Call me, I guess, if you figure out what you want.”

Gob turned away and headed for the door in long, fast strides, Michael watching helplessly as his brother left the room. He stared for a long time into the space that Gob had been occupying, filled with self-loathing and regret, left to wonder, once again, what was wrong with him.

**********

Michael spent the better part of the afternoon locked in his room, trying desperately to rationalize his fight with Gob.

_He's just overreacting, like he always does. He didn't mean what he said. He'll come home, and we'll talk things over like adults. Or at least as much like an adult as he can manage. He'll be fine, we're fine._

He was, of course, blatantly ignoring the glaring reality that he had been the one to lose his cool earlier. He had been the one that stopped what could have been an afternoon of amazing sex with his brother to start an argument over nothing, an argument that Gob had in fact won.

And his reasoning worked, for the most part; it wasn't long before Michael was feeling confident that Gob would come walking through the door at any moment.

But Gob still hadn't returned home by the time dinner came, and Michael was finally starting to allow himself to be worried. He couldn't help but picture Gob in some seedy motel somewhere, or back on his yacht, doing God knows what with God knows who. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that his brother would never cheat on him, the images that he couldn't push out of his head made him sick to his stomach. They got more dire as the minutes ticked by, and suddenly he was imagining the worst. Gob in a hospital, Gob in jail, Gob passed out on the floor with an emptied bottle of pills in his hand.

No. That wasn't how Gob was anymore. That wasn't _who_ he was anymore. He was better now, he had put that darkness behind him. And that's exactly what Michael kept telling himself as he waited for Gob to return, even though he didn't completely believe it.

**********

Michael made dinner, hoping that a nice meal with his son would be enough to put Gob out of his mind for a while, and made a valiant effort to conceal his inner turmoil. But the concern etched on George Michael's face told him that he wasn't nearly as good a hiding his emotions as he liked to think he was.

“Dad, is everything okay?”

“Of course George Michael, why wouldn't things be okay?”

“Well it's just...you seem kinda distant. Is this because of your fight with Uncle Gob earlier?”

“What? Oh, you uh...you heard that?”

“No I mean, I didn't hear anything, but usually he eats dinner with you, so I kind of figured...”

“No, he just uh...he has a magic show tonight, that's why he's not here. I'm just stressed from work, dealing with the family and all that. Nothing to worry about, pal.” He attempted to give his son a reassuring smile, which he found difficult to fake convincingly.

George Michael nodded and gave his father a peculiar look of disbelief, but dropped the subject. They ate quietly for a little while longer before George Michael excused himself, leaving Michael alone again with his thoughts. He got up to clear the table, having given up on being able to eat, when his brother-in-law Tobias came in wearing head-to-toe blue paint.

“Hello Michael, what has you home alone on a Saturday evening? Boy troubles?”

_Boy troubles? Jesus, don't tell me Tobias figured us out._

“Boy troubles? What? There are no...boy troubles, Tobias. Just finished dinner with my son.” Michael brandished the plate he was holding in Tobias' face, as if that somehow proved his point.

“Because if you need to talk about it, I'm on call with the Blue Man Group tonight, so I have plenty of time to sit and chat.” Tobias walked towards Michael and placed his hands on his shoulders, and Michael had to fight back an irritated groan when he saw the blue hand prints being left on his white shirt. “Keeping these sorts of things bottled up isn't good for you, you know. We could even try some role play –”

Michael backed away from Tobias and moved over to the sink. “No role playing necessary, I'm fine. Nothing I'm keeping bottled up, It's just the usual stress from work. I don't know why nobody listens to me when I say that. And shouldn't you – ”

Michael was cut off by the sound of the phone ringing in another room, and Tobias tore out of the kitchen to go answer it.

“I'll bet that's them! Finally, they're calling for me!”

“Well that was a freebie,” Michael muttered to himself, relieved to have Tobias out of his hair.

**********

After another couple of hours of radio silence from Gob, Michael broke down and decided to call him. He locked himself back up in his room and took out his phone, staring at Gob's number for a while, working up his nerve to press talk. He felt a pang of terror in the pit of his stomach when the call went straight to voicemail.

“Gob, it's me. Can you please come home now so we can talk? Or at least return my call. I know you're angry, and I don't blame you, but all I want to do is talk to you. Please. Look I'm...I'm sorry about what I said earlier, I don't think our relationship is disgusting. Of course I don't think that. I can't stand this, please _just talk to me._ I...I love you, Gob. I love you. Please come home.”

Michael hung up his phone and tossed it onto the nightstand, frustrated. He knew how needy that message must have sounded, but by this point didn't even care. He just needed to hear Gob's voice again, to know that his ridiculous insecurities hadn't ruined their relationship. Losing Gob as a boyfriend would be bad enough, but losing him altogether...it was a thought Michael couldn't bear. He had spent so many years, too many years, pushing Gob away, keeping him at arm's length for fear of what might happen if he let him in. He wanted to go back and return every one of his brother's hugs, tell him that it wasn't Gob's fault, that he was just too much of a coward to accept how he really felt. That he still was a coward. That he loved him so deeply that he felt it in is bones, that Gob was etched into the very fiber of his being. That on the really bad days, when his wife had died and his son was left without a mother and his world was crumbling apart, Gob's support had been the only thing that kept him going.

He couldn't believe how much of an _idiot_ he was. Gob was the one person who, throughout his life, had always made an effort to be there for him. Even when Gob was so clearly hurting himself, struggling with his own demons, he would drop everything to be by Michael's side. He would do _anything_ for Michael, stupid, reckless things, just to make him happy. And all Michael ever did to return the favor was antagonize him, pick fight after pointless fight. It was the way they had been raised, always pitted against each other, and it further reminded him that while their relationship had changed drastically, they were still brothers first and foremost. They always would be brothers, however much he may wish that they weren't. If he was going to make this relationship work, and _God_ did he want the relationship to work, he was going to have to figure out how to break a lifelong habit.

After a while he got sick of worrying, sick of feeling, and so he decided to cut his losses and try to get some sleep. Maybe the morning would bring Gob back to him, or at least bring him some clarity.

**********

Michael had finally started to slip into sleep when he was jarred awake by the sound of his bedroom door being opened. He squinted into the darkness at the shadow hovering in his doorway, and tried to make sense of the figure as it moved its way through the room and eventually stopped at his bedside. It took him a few seconds to register exactly what it was he was seeing, and he couldn't remember a time when he felt as relieved as he did in that moment.

“Gob?”

“Yeah, Mikey.”

“You came back?”

“Of course I came back. What, did you really think I would leave for good?”

_Yes._ “No, I just...you scared me, Gob. When I called earlier and you didn't answer, I just thought maybe...” Michael reached over to turn on the bedside lamp, needing to see him. Needing to see that his brother really was standing there, really was safe. “I was worried. I missed you.”

Gob sat on the edge of the bed next to Michael and took his hand, wrapping it in his own and giving it a small squeeze. “I missed you too, Mikey. We both needed some space, that's all. It took me this long to get you to agree to this, you aren't getting rid of me that easy.”

A hint of a smile played at Michael's lips, and he moved over in the bed to make room for his brother, who happily climbed in next to him and snuggled up close. Michael held him and buried his nose in Gob's hair and took in his warmth and his smell and the very fact that he was _there_.

“I'm sorry, Gob. I shouldn't have said what I did. But you're being so _good_ to me lately, it's...well, honestly, it's a little unlike you, and it kinda freaked me out.”

“No, you shouldn't have,” Gob agreed. “I don't know, I'm just doing what people in relationships do. Granted, I've never been in a real one, but...isn't that what people in relationships do?”

“I mean yeah, it is, but I've never seen this side of you. Didn't know this side of you existed.”

“You don't need to sound so surprised, Michael. I care about you, I'm trying not to *beep* this up like I do with everything else. I'm trying to be good enough for you.”

Michael sighed and let his eyes slip shut. “You are good enough for me, Gob. You're probably too good for me. You've always been there for me even when no one else was, and I treated you like crap. I've always been afraid of you, of how much you care about me. You deserve better.”

“But I don't want better, I want you. You're my brother, and you're kind of a dick, and I love you. Just promise me that the next time you're going to have a heart attack over nothing you'll tell me what's really going on.”

Michael laughed into Gob's hair and hugged him tighter. “Yeah yeah, I promise. I love you too Gob, I really do. I always have, even when I didn't act like it.”

“I know, Mikey. You just need to stop being such a robot all the time, there's no need for you to be afraid of your feelings. It's not like we're doing anything wrong. We're brothers, and we really love each other.”

For once, Michael didn't feel like arguing that point. They were in love, brothers or not, and Michael was having a difficult time now seeing what could possibly be so wrong about that.


	3. Chapter 3

Gob Bluth kept his eyes intently focused on gray tiles passing below his feet as he followed his brother through the bleak halls of the hospital. There was a prickly sort of dread gnawing on his insides; he would have preferred being just about anywhere else on the planet.

“Why do I need to be here again?”

He was startled when he crashed into Michael, who had apparently stopped walking and turned to face him. He looked up in the vicinity of Michael's face, but couldn't bring himself to meet his gaze. “I've told you already, Gob. Tracey asked me to bring you, she said she had something to talk about with you.”

Gob grimaced as he wondered what Tracey could possibly have to say to him. He was pretty sure she hated him, so it couldn't be anything good. “Can't I just...call her or something? Why do I have to do this in person?”

Michael sighed heavily. “Y'know, Gob, you are unbelievable. My wife is holding onto life by a thread, and all she wants right now is to talk to you. I would hope as my brother you would at least be willing to put aside your petty, childish crap for twenty minutes and do that for her. For me.” It was obvious that Michael was trying to be angry, but he only sounded tired, and it was the vulnerability in his voice rather than his words that finally made Gob stop arguing.

“Okay. I'm sorry, Mikey.” He reached out to wrap his brother in a hug, and thought with a pang of worry that Michael felt too small and fragile as he folded himself into the embrace and rested his forehead against Gob's shoulder.

**********

Gob was roused from the memory when he felt his brother stirring in his arms. He smiled as Michael settled once again, his cheek now firmly pressed against Gob's chest, and resumed his soft snoring. He brought his hand up to run his fingers through Michael's sleep-mussed hair, and admired the way the sunlight streaming through the window illuminated every freckle on his face.

These had become his favorite moments, early in the morning when the house was quiet and he felt the familiar warmth of his little brother sleeping peacefully against him and everything was so _still_ , and he could relish the feeling of finally having everything he'd ever wanted, a place where he belonged. He clutched his brother to his body and nuzzled his nose against his cheek and breathed in his scent simply because he _could_ , because Mikey was _his_ now. He still had a hard time believing it was all real.

He let the feeling of contentment overtake him as he drifted off to sleep.

**********

The closer they got to Tracey's room, the larger the pit of anxiousness in Gob's stomach grew. For a brief second he contemplated just turning around and leaving, but he knew he couldn't do that to Michael. He needed to be strong for his brother, needed to be stable, to prove for once that he didn't always run away when things got difficult.

He stopped just past the threshold when they entered the room, and kept his eyes downcast as Michael rushed to Tracey's bedside. He made an effort to ignore the whispered how are yous, the I love yous and I missed yous, the suffering in Michael's voice. Resentment coursed through him; he resented Tracey for being sick, for breaking his brother's heart, for the fact that his heart could break for her in a way that it never could for him. He resented himself for having any of these feelings in the first place. His heart clenched in his chest when he glanced up to see Michael holding onto her like he never wanted to let go. 

Michael eventually pulled himself away from his wife and turned his attention to his brother, eyeing him warily. “Alright, well, I guess...I guess I'll leave you two alone, then. I'll come back in a little while.”

Gob watched from across the room as Michael leaned in to give Tracey one last kiss before turning and walking out the door, and remained there after he was gone. Neither he nor Tracey said anything for a while, and he started to hope that maybe she'd fallen asleep and he'd have to come back another time. _No such luck_ , he thought somewhat bitterly, as Tracey sat up in bed and fixed her eyes on him, motioning with her hand for him to come closer.

His instinct to get out of there was stronger than ever, but he forced himself forward and stopped a few feet from her bed. She looked worse than she had the last time he'd seen her – paler and more frail; had it not been for her red hair she would have almost blended into the pile of pillows and the white of the sheets. It seemed as if there were tubes and wires coming out of every inch of her body, and he felt vaguely guilty as he thought about how grateful he was that is was her in this hospital bed and not Michael. He winced when she reached forward to grab his hand. Her fingers felt wrong, too bony and cold to belong to the living, but he didn't pull away.

Tracey sighed softly, and when Gob moved his eyes from her hand to her face she offered him a wan smile that he didn't return. A few more minutes passed in silence, and he grew increasingly nervous, until Tracey finally spoke.

“You're a good brother, Gob.”

He raised his eyebrows, taken aback by the kind words, and by the fact that Tracey sounded like she actually meant them. When he didn't respond, Tracey continued.

“I know how hard all of this is for Michael, you know. He tries so hard to seem strong when he comes in here, thinks he has to be for me, and for George Michael... But I know him better than he thinks I do, and I can see how much it's killing him. Sometimes he can't even look at me, and he's become so quiet...there are days when he barely says three words.” Tracey paused and gave Gob's hand a gentle squeeze and a small, admiring smile. It was a quiet kind of affection that he wasn't used to being on the receiving end of, and he felt a sudden kinship with her that he never had before. He held her hand tighter, silent encouragement to continue.

“When he does talk, though? It's almost always about you. He starts talking about you, and suddenly I can't get him to shut up. I know almost nothing about what's going on in his life outside of this room anymore, but I know about everything you've done for him. You're always there for him. You've always been there for him. And I'm sure he'd never actually say this to you, but he appreciates it. I appreciate it. Without you around...I don't think he'd make it. I don't think even George Michael is enough to keep him going right now. He needs you.”

Tracey laughed quietly to herself about something, and Gob took the pause in her speech to let her words sink in. _Michael talks about me? He needs me?_ He gripped Tracey's hand even harder.

“It's always been that way, really, as long as I've known him. To be honest I used to feel sort of threatened by you, thought you were gonna steal him from me. I never doubted that he loved me, he's always been a wonderful husband, but...there was just something about the way he lit up whenever you were around. It scared the hell out of me sometimes.”

She fell silent again and closed her eyes. Gob's heart was slamming against his ribcage, and he felt like he was on the verge of tears. _This can't be happening, there's no way she's saying what I think she's saying..._

“Tracey, what are you...what's...” His voice was small, filled with hope and fear and his head was too foggy to piece together a complete thought. The seconds that ticked by felt like hours, until Tracey opened her eyes again and turned them back to him.

“Michael loves you, Gob. He loves you so, so much. And I don't have much longer...everyone keeps telling me I'm going to pull through, but I know it's over for me. He isn't mine anymore – I don't know if he ever really was to begin with – and now...now he'll have the chance to be with the person he's meant to be with. It's going to take him a while to admit it, and you're going to have to be patient with him, but he'll get there. Just...don't give up on him, okay? He needs you, just as much as I know you need him.”

Gob felt like he was going to pass out. He took a seat in a nearby chair, and rested his head in his hands, trying to still his racing thoughts. _Michael wants to be with me, Michael talks about me, Tracey thinks we belong together, Michael_ loves _me._ There was a lightness growing inside of him, an almost frantic elation. He had been waiting for so long to hear those words, didn't think he ever would. He had spent so many years despising Tracey for stealing his brother from him, and now...here she was, giving him everything he'd ever wanted. He didn't know what to say, there wasn't anything he could say that would ever be enough.

“I...I won't. I'll...I won't give up on him. I promise.” When the world stopped feeling like it was spinning out of control beneath him, he stood up and hugged Tracey, clinging to her with a certain amount of desperation. “Thank you, Tracey. Thank you.”  
  
Tracey smiled and hugged Gob back, and they stayed in the embrace until Michael returned. 

__

**********

Gob awoke a little while later, and was greeted by the image of Michael's face beaming up at him.

“G'morning, you.”

“Mmm, g'morning, Mikey.” Gob returned his grin with something close to awe; it never ceased to amaze him how beautiful and perfect his little brother was. He leaned down to brush his lips against his forehead, and then his nose, eventually pressing their mouths together in a slow, languid kiss. He moaned softly as Michael slid an arm around his waist, pulling him in closer. They kissed for several minutes before Gob broke away and rested his forehead against Michael's, looking into his eyes. “How're you feeling?”

The smile on Michael's face faded almost imperceptibly, and Gob gave him a soft kiss, a reminder that he was there for him. “M'okay, I think. I think I'll be okay.” His voice cracked slightly, belying his statement, and Gob hugged him a little tighter.

**********

Tracey slipped into a coma only a few days after their talk. It was hard on Gob, partially because he hated knowing how much Michael was hurting, and partially because Michael spent all of his time at the hospital and so he rarely got to see him. He fought to stay strong and out of trouble, he knew he needed to in case Michael ever came to him. But without his brother's presence in his life to quiet the constant noise inside his head, he found it was a struggle to keep himself from falling back on his old regimen of seedy clubs, random bodies and alcohol to do it for him.

Still, as days turned into weeks and eventually months, he got by. He kept to himself, mostly, trying to focus his attention on his magic to distract himself. At night, when he was lying alone in his bed and wanted nothing more than for Michael to be there with him, he would replay his conversation with Tracey over and over again in his mind, reminding himself that his brother loved him and wanted him and someday they would be together. Someday, he would be happy. There was hope.

**********

Michael buried his face in the crook of Gob's neck and sighed. Gob shivered at the feeling of his humid breath against his skin, and placed gentle kisses into his hair. He knew this was going to be a hard day for his brother, harder than he could even imagine. He moved his head back and grabbed Michael's chin, pulling his face up until their eyes met once again.

“You are gonna be okay, Mikey. You've got me, and you've got George Michael, and we're not going anywhere. You're always gonna be okay.”

Michael smiled wistfully. “I know. I know I will be. It's just hard to believe it's been three years already, y'know? I didn't really think I was going to make it this far. Didn't think I'd ever be all that happy again. When she died, I just kind of gave up.”

Gob nodded because he could relate; he'd given up hope more times in his life than he could count. He knew what it was like to be brought to the brink of despair. But he also knew that it was possible to come back, even when it seemed like there was nothing left worth living for. Michael had done that for him, and he was only glad that he had been given the chance to do that for Michael.

**********

On the day of Tracey's funeral, Gob didn't once leave Michael's side. Even when Michael snapped at him, yelled at him about how he was being clingy and bothering him, how he wasn't in the mood to deal with his neediness, Gob stayed. He knew Michael didn't mean it, was just hurting and was too afraid to show it. So he stayed, hoping that his presence would at least give Michael some small comfort, hoping he could make his brother's heart ache a little less.

He stayed until it was all over, until the sun had set and the mourners had all left and George Michael had finally fallen asleep, and he and Michael were alone with a bottle of scotch. Michael was drunk, having drained almost the entire contents on his own, and was sprawled out on the couch with his head resting in Gob's lap and his eyes closed, silent tears running down his face. Gob wiped his brother's eyes dry with his thumbs, making small comforting noises and wrestling with the urge to pull him up into his arms, to hold him and kiss him and tell him that he'd be okay, they'd both be okay because they loved each other and now they could just be together.

But Gob knew Michael wasn't ready, and he didn't want to do anything to scare him away. This was the first time he could ever remember feeling useful and wanted like this; the rest of their family never failed to make it clear that he was most helpful during difficult times when he was nowhere to be found. And so instead he continued soothing Michael as best he could, until his crying had stopped and his breathing was steady and Gob was sure he'd fallen asleep. He leaned his head back and closed his eyes, the solid warmth of his brother in his lap making him drowsy, until Michael muttered something so softly that Gob wasn't completely sure he'd actually heard it.

“Stay the night with me?”

Gob's head shot up and he looked down at Michael, who was now staring up at him with pleading, red-rimmed eyes. “Really? You want...me to stay?”

“Yes. Please? Just stay the night, I really don't think I can be alone right now, and I need – ”

Gob quieted him by pressing a finger to his lips and nodded. “Of course I'll stay.”

Michael adjusted himself, sitting up and resting his head on Gob's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist and pressing up close against him. “Thank you. I love you, Gob.”

“I love you too, Mikey.”

Gob knew Michael didn't mean it the way he wanted him to, and it would probably be years before he would, but he didn't mind. He would be patient, just like he'd promised Tracey. He would always be there for his brother, always waiting no matter how long it took, and he would do whatever he could to make Michael's life better in the meantime. Waiting didn't seem so daunting anymore; it was just a matter of time now.

**********

Gob looked into Michael's eyes and saw something there, a little flicker of nostalgia that made him ask a question he dreaded getting the answer to. “Do you still miss her, Mikey?”

“Yeah, I do. I miss her every day.”

Gob had known what Michael was going to say, but the words still felt like a punch to the gut. He dropped his gaze, hoping Michael wouldn't be able to see his disappointment. For the first time in three years, he doubted whether his brother really loved him. What if Tracey had been wrong? What if they were only together now because Michael felt he couldn't do better?

“Hey, Gob, hey, look at me. I know what you're thinking, don't even start doing that to yourself,” Michael pressed his forehead against Gob's, staring into his eyes with an intense sincerity. “I miss her because she was my wife, and she was George Michael's mother, and I would give anything to have her back, for his sake. But I wouldn't trade what we have, not in a million years. I'm happy now, Gob. Probably happier than I've ever been. You're my family, in more ways than one, you're the one I want to build my life with. Missing her doesn't change any of that. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be, if I didn't love you. I've always loved you. You have to understand that.”

Gob felt a grin creeping onto his face as a weight was lifted off of his chest. “You really wanna build a life with me?”

“Well, yeah. We have a pretty damn good thing going here, I think. And I've got nothing better going on, so I figure why the hell not?” Michael grinned in return and leaned forward to give Gob a peck on the cheek.

“You are such an asshole sometimes.”

“I know, but I'm an asshole whose pants you spent most of our lives trying to get into, and then who you made fall in love with you. Now you're stuck with me. You made your bed, now you have to lie in it, so to speak.”

Gob couldn't help but chuckle. “God, was it really that obvious I was trying to get you into bed?”

“Well, let's just say that you weren't all that subtle about it. If it hadn't been for your weird hugs and the fact that I could never seem to get rid of you, your constant erections would have given you away.”

He pulled back and turned his attention to his cock, favoring it with a smirk. “Way to go man, I told you to play it cool. Was that really so much to ask? Now he knows how you feel about him, and I have to date the guy.”

Michael laughed and moved up to close the space between their lips. Gob pressed forward, returning his brother's kiss, feeling the truth more profoundly now than ever; he and Michael had a future together. His years of waiting for him had finally paid off, and he could really start to plan the life he'd always dreamed they'd have. He thought of Tracey again, hoped that wherever she was she could see them and was happy for them. He owed all of this to her, even though he'd never tell Michael that, and he hoped that he had made her proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize that there's a wee bit of a continuity error in this. At the end of Proving His Worthiness, which this is technically supposed to be a continuation of, I mention that Gob never meant to feel anything for Michael when he kissed him, and obviously this makes it clear that that isn't the case. I'm going to go ahead and ignore it, because I like how this chapter turned out and the direction this fic going in now, so...my apologies for that.

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't have any intentions of continuing the last fic when I wrote it, but my brain decided it loved this pairing too much to let it go and instead bombarded me with a million scenarios that I needed to start writing down. I'm not completely sure yet what form this is going to take, but be prepared for lots of fluff and maybe even a wedding. Maybe.
> 
> Comments and input are more than welcome!


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